We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
