My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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