We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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