We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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