You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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