was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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