I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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