Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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