You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
