He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You're like the curious george of whores
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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