I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
