Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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