At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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