I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
"it" just moved
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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