he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
