it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
