Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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