Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dick very happy bro
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