I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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