i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
