high people should be assigned attendants
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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