The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
