it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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