god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
