Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
