My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
