You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
