I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
