I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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