We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
