Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
