she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
