so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
