My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
