So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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