ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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