So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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