why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
