You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
