did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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