Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
