I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
