In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
