Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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