Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
