My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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