I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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