Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
