Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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