erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
