Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
