i think my tv is drunk
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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