so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
