??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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