Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
