where am i from again
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
