You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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